- General condition of the society
This great law [of parental consent] He has laid down to strengthen the social fabric, to knit closer the ties of the home, to place a certain gratitude and respect in the hearts of children for those who have given them life and sent their souls out on the eternal journey towards their Creator. We Bahá'ís must realize that in present-day society the exact opposite process is taking place: young people care less and less for their parents' wishes, divorce is considered a natural right, and obtained on the flimsiest and most unwarrantable and shabby pretexts. People separated from each other, especially if one of them has had full custody of the children, are only too willing to belittle the importance of the partner in marriage also responsible as a parent for bringing those children into this world. The Bahá'ís must, through rigid adherence to the Bahá'í laws and teachings, combat these corrosive forces which are so rapidly destroying home life and the beauty of family relationships, and tearing down the moral structure of society. (From a letter dated25 October 1947 written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States; compilation ‘Consent of Parents to Marriage’, prepared by the Research Department of the Universal House of Justice)
- “…it is discouraged, deprecated and against the good pleasure of God.”
Regarding divorce, the Guardian stated that it is discouraged, deprecated and against the good pleasure of God. (From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to a National Spiritual Assembly, dated 7 July 1938; The Compilation of Compilations, vol. I, Preserving Baha’i Marriages)
- “… a last resort to be avoided if humanly possible.”
He feels that you and your wife should do everything in your power to produce a harmonious relationship between you and avoid divorce by all means, if possible. The Bahá'í attitude is that marriage is a very serious and sacred relationship and divorce a last resort to be avoided if humanly possible. (From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, dated 10 August 1945; The Compilation of Compilations, vol. I, Preserving Baha’i Marriages)
- importance of “prayer and self-sacrificing effort”
Bahá'u'lláh has laid great emphasis on the sanctity of marriage, and the believers should exert their utmost to create harmony in their homes and a situation which at least is not bad for their children. But if, after prayer and self-sacrificing effort, this proves quite impossible, then they may resort to divorce. (From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, dated 10 November 1943; The Compilation of Compilations, vol. I, Preserving Baha’i Marriages)
- “… it is highly discouraged, and should be resorted to only when every effort to prevent it has proved to be vain and ineffective.”
The Guardian is in receipt of your letter .. . and has learned with deep concern of the state of disharmony existing between you and your husband.
While he wishes me to assure you that he will pray for the solution of your domestic troubles, he would urge you to endeavour, by every means in your power, to compose your differences, and not to allow them to reach such proportions as to lead to your complete and final separation from your husband. For while, according to the Bahá'í law, divorce is permissible, yet it is highly discouraged, and should be resorted to only when every effort to prevent it has proved to be vain and ineffective. It is for you, and for Mr.... as well, to ponder carefully over the spiritual implications which any act of divorce on either part would involve, and, strengthened by the power of faith and confident in the blessings which strict adherence to the principles and laws of Bahá'u'lláh is bound to confer upon every one of His faithful followers, to make a fresh resolve to solve your common difficulties and to restore the harmony, peace and happiness of your family life. (From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, dated 11 September 1938; The Compilation of Compilations, vol. I, Preserving Baha’i Marriages)
- …”to make almost a superhuman effort…”
He feels that you should by all means make every effort to hold your marriage together, especially for the sake of your children, who, like all children of divorced parents, cannot but suffer from conflicting loyalties, for they are deprived of the blessing of a father and mother in one home, to look after their interests and love them jointly.
Now that you realize that your husband is ill, you should be able to reconcile yourself to the difficulties you have faced with him emotionally, and not take an unforgiving attitude, however much you may suffer.
We know that Bahá'u'lláh has very strongly frowned upon divorce; and it is really incumbent upon the Bahá'ís to make almost a superhuman effort not to allow a Bahá'í marriage to be dissolved. (From a letter dated 6 March 1953 written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer; The Compilation of Compilations vol II)
- Role of the Spiritual Assembly
Regarding divorce, the Guardian stated that it is discouraged, deprecated and against the good pleasure of God. The Assembly must circulate among the friends whatever has been revealed from the Pen of 'Abdu'l-Bahá in this connection so that all may be fully reminded. Divorce is conditional upon the approval and permission of the Spiritual Assembly. The members of the Assembly must in such matters independently and carefully study and investigate each case. If there should be valid grounds for divorce and it is found that reconciliation is utterly impossible, that antipathy is intense and its removal is not possible, then the Assembly may approve the divorce. (From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to a National Spiritual Assembly, dated 7 July 1938; The Compilation of Compilations, vol. I, Preserving Baha’i Marriages)
