The issue you have raised is of vital importance to Bahá’í couples striving to address the various needs and opportunities with which they are confronted in present-day society.[1] As in so many other aspects of daily life, the resolution of this issue must be sought through the comprehension and application of the Teachings of the Faith. The believers should clearly understand and remain untroubled by the fact that the resulting solutions may well not be regarded as adequate by those not blessed with the bounty of acceptance of the Promised One and who are enmeshed in patterns of thought which are alien to the Bahá’í Teachings despite widespread acceptance of such patterns by the generality of humankind.
Central to the consideration of this matter must be the purpose in life of all faithful followers of Bahá’u’lláh: to know and worship God. This involves service to one’s fellow human beings and in the advancement of the Cause of God. In pursuing this purpose, they should strive to develop their talents and faculties to whatever extent is possible by exploring the avenues before them.
It is inevitable, because of the limitations of this earthly plane, that believers will, in many instances, find themselves deprived of the opportunity to develop their talents to the fullest. This may be due to lack of economic resources or educational facilities, or to the necessity of meeting other obligations and fulfilling other duties, such as the freely chosen responsibilities associated with marriage and parenthood. In some circumstances it may be the result of a conscious decision to make sacrifices for the sake of the Cause, as when a pioneer undertakes to serve in a post which lacks the facilities for the development of his or her special skills and talents. However, such deprivations and limitations do not carry with them the implication that the Bahá’ís concerned are unable to fulfil their fundamental, divinely ordained purpose; they are simply elements of the universal challenge to evaluate and balance the many calls on one’s time and effort in this life.
There is no one universally applicable response to the questions you have raised about the decisions to be made by marriage partners when both husband and wife are pursuing career opportunities which appear to be leading them along divergent paths, since circumstances vary so widely. Each couple should rely on the process of Bahá’í consultation to determine what is the best course of action. In so doing they might well consider the following factors, among others:
• the sense of equality which should inform consultation between husband and wife;
The Universal House of Justice has stated previously, in response to questions, that loving consultation should be the keynote of the marriage relationship. If agreement cannot be reached, there are times when either the husband or the wife should defer to the wishes of the other; exactly under what circumstances such deference should take place is a matter for each couple to decide.
• the strong emphasis placed in the Bahá’í Writings on the preservation of the marriage bond and the strengthening of the unity between the marriage partners;
• the concept of a Bahá’í family, in which the mother is the first educator of the children, and the husband takes primary responsibility for the financial support of his family;
As has been stated elsewhere by the House of Justice, this by no means implies that these functions are inflexibly fixed and cannot be changed and adjusted to suit particular family situations.
• various special circumstances which might arise, such as job prospects during a period of widespread unemployment, unusual opportunities or abilities which one marriage partner may have, or pressing needs of the Cause which a sacrificial response may be called for.
The success of such consultation will doubtless be influenced by the prayerful attitude with which it is approached, the mutual respect of the parties for each other, their earnest desire to devise a solution which will preserve unity and harmony for themselves and the other members of their family, and their willingness to make compromises and adjustments within the context of equality.
As society evolves in the decades and centuries ahead under the transforming influence of the Revelation of Bahá’u’lláh, it will surely experience fundamental changes which will facilitate the social application of the Bahá’í Teachings, and will ease the difficulties faced by couples seeking to fulfil their ardent desire to serve the Cause of Bahá’u’lláh through their professional activities.
- The Universal House of Justice (From a letter dated 26 June 1996 written on behalf of the
Universal House of Justice to an individual believer; compilation: ‘Family
Life’, prepared by the Research Department of the Universal House of Justice,
revised March 2008)
[1] The believer enquired about the decisions to be made by
marriage partners when both husband and wife are pursuing career opportunities
which appear to be leading them along divergent paths.
